Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Babies Love Porn

The gameroom is a huge mess. AGAIN. Emmi came home from school in a sour mood, so I plopped her in front of the TV while I went upstairs to clean. All was fine for the first few minutes. Then I hear the channel change. No problem. Sounds like she is watching the news. It changes again. This time to MTV. Oh well, a few minutes of TRL won't hurt her. Then the TV goes quiet. She must have found the volume button. Even better. Now she can't hear what the songs on MTV say. I leave well enough alone, because, afterall, the gameroom MUST be cleaned. I am just happy to have a few minutes in which I can get it done.

Then I hear something strange from the TV. What is she watching now? Huh? I should probably check on that. I leave toys scattered across the floor and head to the stairs. Volume goes up. WAY up. And then I hear it.

"Oh yeah. Baby do me harder."

What the fuck? I run down the stairs.

I can't work the goddamn remote, but Emmi can figure out how to order porn on Pay-Per-View! After I recover, I calmly look at Emmi.

"No ma'am. No more ordering porn on pay-per-view. Now tell me, Emmi, how do I block the ppv channels."

"Hummanamaananaumham."

I think she just said, "I just cost you $29.50."

1 comment:

Sheri said...

OMG! HAHAHA! and HAHAHA! And you are complaining about her dad's house. *wink, wink*