Monday, August 31, 2009
Houses. And moving. And holy shit, I think we are going to move. And it is only 45 minutes away, but it might as well be a world away.
I have lived in this same area since I was nine, minus some time in Austin and Dallas. Basically that equals seventeen years of living within three miles of my current house. I shop at the same grocery store my mom did. I go to the convenience store and the owner talks about when I was little and rode my bike there. I don't get IDed at the bank, because everyone knows me. I can't go to the gas station without seeing my old neighbor, or my old high school teacher, or my best friend. This little bubble, "The Bubble," has been my bubble for years. And now, we want out.
We have lots of reasons. Schools. Better neighborhood. The lake. Hills. Trees. But mostly, we just want to. And I do. I really do. But I am also terrified.
But I better get over it quick, because we faxed the offer over this morning.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Stopping along the way to Black River to take pictures.
By the time we arrived at Black River we were giddy and ready for some adventures.
Someone should have thrown her to the crocodiles, which there were plenty of along the river. Our tour guide thought it great fun to pull the boat right up to them. Especially the side of the boat I was sitting on.
"Don't worry," he assured us. "They are quite tame," he says as he hand feeds them chicken.
Luckily, that crocodile did not eat our tour guide.
After escaping death by crocodile, we drove another thirty minutes or so to YS Falls. By the time we arrived the sky had darkened. Then the rain began. We made it about halfway up the falls, before some old dude leered at me and grabbed Emily's ass. I was a little upset, because, obviously, that meant she had the better ass.
By that point we were over it. It was raining. Hard. Old men were creeping us out. Emily and I found ourselves waiting at the bottom of the falls while the guys headed off to find the rope swing. While waiting we noticed two things.
1.The signs all explicitly warn you not to smoke ganja.
2. The non-American men wear little bitty swimsuits with their junk hanging out.
The guys never made it to the rope swing. And Kenny caught me taking pictures of this guy in the little pants. Kenny and Michael decided it was best to head on to Appleton Rum factory before we were completely
water logged I got myself in trouble.
This is the tour that everyone looks forward to. All you can drink free rum. Rum punch. Rum shots. 30-year-old rums. Whatever your heart desires. Unless, of course, you heart desires to never see rum again after drinking rum punch for 8 straight hours the day before. The smell wafting from the parking lot was enough to make me want to puke.
But the tour was supposed to be really interesting, too.
Or not. We could have cared less how the pot stills work.
I did perk up when I heard that we could taste some raw molasses (a by product...see I was too listening Mr. Tour Guide Who Kept Fussing At Us For Trailing Behind). Sugar in any form is my friend.
Licorice, however, is not. And that is what that shit tasted like.
By then end of the day, we were done being goofy tourist. We took our fanny packs off Not really. You didn't think I actually have a fanny pack did, you? and started planning our next day. Local spots. Where the natives go. Those were our requirements. Marc, mapped out a plan, and we agreed to meet at four the next afternoon.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
We passed around the
bucket of beer bottle of "Wata" as we made our way out to the reef for the best snorkeling I have ever done. Although probably not the best snorkeling to be had. Just better than Mexico where we generally see nothing. This time there were eels, starfish, plants, crazy reef, and tons of fish.
The storm had soon passed, and we made our way over to the pool bar. We had been previously warned about those bartenders and that flaming drink they had. But rum punches and a bucket of beer made Kenny think trying it would be a good idea.
His name is not really Austria. We just called him that. Because he lives in Austria. Obviously.
*I am told this is when the bar walking happened. I sort of believe this from the camera angle. And the wet footprints on the bar.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
1. Emily (my vacation bestie) and I walking on the bar, stepping over people's drinks.
2. Me telling a girl she was not in our club of people we were married on the 15th, followed by Emily telling her she had been married "a looooong time." They had gotten married on the 8th.
3. Emily and I harassing the bartender who admitted to me that he had five kids with five different moms.
Don't worry. I took it easy with the rum punches the rest of the trip. However, I can't exactly say we took it easy the whole trip. We did a lot. We went everywhere. We did touristy things. We ate a local restaurants. We made good friends with our driver. We hiked. We snorkeled. We sat on the beach. I read four books. We woke up by 6am everyday, and were asleep by 9:30pm every night. I ate no less than three lunches a day. I loved the food. I ate fritters from roadside stands and drank coconut water straight from the coconut. Crocodiles swam within feet of me. I held a starfish, chased a stingray, and ran from jellyfish. And I loved every minute of it.
From the moment we arrived, I knew this was going to be an amazing vacation.
.....to be continued. With pictures.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
In the meantime, I am running some virus scans until I see my neighbor who is a computer genius drive by, so I can go cry to him until he fixes it. Other than my computer virus, it is kind of boring around here.
We all threw up yesterday. We are all better today. I am driving myself insane with last minute things for the wedding, although really I have everything done. I just keep worrying that I don't have everything done.
Emmi has me watching "Scary" which is actually Coraline (please somebody I know have a girl and name her Coraline. I would suggest such to my sister if her baby is a girl, but it is probably a little to close to her daughter's name. I would also be happy with Delilah...LAURA, I am talking to you.) Jill is grounded after a little incident involving the woman cutting her hair. And by grounded, I mean she annoyed the piss out of me until I told her to go play at the neighbor's house.
And that is pretty much it. Tomorrow marks exactly one week until the wedding. I have something planned for every day of the official one week countdown. But with my lack of enthusiasm for blogging, I am not sure I will get to it. Let's shoot for three out of seven.
Monday, August 3, 2009
I think help will come in the form of these.
Little tokens with dirty little phrases I can slip in Kenny's pocket or leave in his car. Although with my luck he would switch trucks with one of the guys, and I would end up telling our crew leader I want to strip for him. I won't even have to say anything. Which is probably a hell of a lot sexier, in my case.
And, for all of you parents out there, there ones for your kids to slip in their lunch boxes. Although, you should make sure you keep those suckers separate so as not to mix those up. I am not sure how my kid's kindergarten teacher would feel about me not wearing panties all day.