I need to go to the gym. I have no motivation. My upcoming wedding should be motivation, but it isn't. I need a gym buddy. I saw an ad online yesterday for a service that pairs you with a gym buddy. Kind of like online dating, but sweatier. I don't think I am that desperate yet. Yet.
If I get there, I think my ad will read something like this.
Hi, my name is Tricia. I really enjoy syncing my ipod to yours, so that we can dance together on the treadmills. I am good at the robot, even at high speeds. Ask my old gym buddy. I have included her as a reference. It is the least she can do, since she up and moved and screwed me out of a gym buddy (Tiffany, I am talking to you). Since I am competitive, I will need to outrun you. I will also need to look better than you while doing so. So please, run slow for only fifteen minutes, and make it look like it hurts. During the summer, "working out" will be code word for sitting by the pool while using the free child care for the maximum allotted two hours. My new gym buddy will need to be proficient in lying to children. You should be comfortable with phrases such as, "My hair is not wet from swimming. I just sweat a lot when I run." I also enjoy a cold drink from Starbucks after a hard workout. I justify this, because I once read a study that caffeine eases muscle soreness. I am looking for a partner that is happy to join along on a Starbucks run. Dancing in the car on the ride is mandatory, however, I will give you radio control. In conclusion, if anyone is interested in a sometimes working out, goofy dancing, coffee loving, liar then I am just the gym buddy for you!