It's funny how Kenny spends all year long taking care of, playing with, and, well, being a father to both kids. Then Father's Day rolls around, and neither kid will be here. Suddenly, both of the girls' dads remember they are dads when there are presents involved. Jill and I spent a good twenty minutes picking out a Father's Day card (for Kenny, she actually did not ask nor did it occur to either of us to get one for her biological father), and none of them said
"Thanks for donating your sperm, ignoring my phone calls, lying to me, and basically ignoring my presence 364 days a year. Happy Father's Day!"
nor did any of them say
"Every kid dreams of having an alcoholic who hasn't paid child support in seven years yet has money to travel the world all while never buying me a birthday present for a dad. Thanks for making my dreams come true! Happy Father's Day!"
although wouldn't you know it, we did find one for Emmi's dad that said
"Thanks for attempting to use me as a pawn to piss my mom off all those years. It hasn't worked, because we all see what an idiot you are! Lots of love and Happy Father's Day."
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12 comments:
That's it...we need to start our own card company! It will be all the things you shouldn't say but will to piss someone off with a lovely little card company.
Yeah, it's nice how the ex demands M do something (with my help of course) for her step-dad on Father's Day and makes it a point every year to take Father's Day weekend as her extra weekend for the summer, but she can't even be bothered to have M simplay make a phone call to me on Mother's Day.
And did you like how I made simply all fancy-like with simplay... :D
Well, Sheri, what the hell do you expect. You aren't her mother, you are just the babysitter. Here is your card
"Thanks for babysitting. Love, M's Mom"
PS For those who aren't in on the joke, I AM SO NOT CALLING SHERI THE BABYSITTER!!! She is just about the best second mommy a kid could have.
Oh man...the ideas I could come up with for a Mother's day card for our egg donor......none of them are appropriate for a public blog, I assure you.
Your girls ( and you) are blessed with Kenny! I think it is so awesome what a happy, close knit family you are!!! Happy Dad's Day Kenny!
I kind of have a dad like that. So I didn't grow up celebrating fathers' day. It's weird having to remember it now that my kids don't have a dead beat for a dad!
So is there an official Babysitter's Day? Oooh, that could be one of our first official Hallmark* holidays.
*- substitute with the sure to be clever name of our card company.
We will have Babysitter's Day! Plus, K, is always complementing Kenny on a job well done when it comes to raising his kid. There should be Thanks For Raising My Kid While I Fuck Off Day.
Can we get a "Thanks for raising my kidS while i semi, not really, raise my other kidS" card?!
Aimee, I belive that card goes..
"You sucked as a kid, so I moved on and had ten others."
ha ha ha ha I love it! Have you checked out www.someecards.com?
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