It was a sad day for the Internets and the Cable.

We live in a small town about forty-five minutes outside of Houston. The official population less than five hundred. We have a McDonalds and a Walmart. And we willingly moved here, because I was going to go crazy if one more teenager walked by me with their pants around their knees acting like it was cool to be ghetto when you were being raised in an upper middle class gated community. Being that I choose to move, I am sure I have no right to complain about anything. And really I have very few complaints. Except our lack of choices of cable and internet companies. And by lack of choices, I mean there is exactly one company to use. One company that sucks ass. With a dvr capable of recording two shows at a time AND YOU HAVE TO BE WATCHING ONE OF THEM.

Mid afternoon, there was a power surge. I reset all the clocks. Restarted the computers, and waited for my glorious internet access to come back. Except nothing happened. No signal. I did the whole unplug the router, blow on the cord the shit works sometimes and you know it, and wait. Nothing. Finally after a few hours I conceded that it was coming back on it's own. I needed to call the internet/cable company.

It was in that moment that it dawned on me. No working phone. Vonage phone lines and a cell that runs on wi-fi inside the house thanks to our tech shield roof. I would have to go stand outside in the cold to call. But I had blogs to read. And the book of face to check. I made the call. In the cold.

Then I went back inside to watch TV and wait until tomorrow for a tech to come fix my sad little internets. I made it about halfway across the living room, before the cable went out in front of my very eyes. Shit. Should I call back? Could the same tech take care of my internet and cable?

I decided not to chance it, so I called back.

"Ma'am, I am going to send a signal to your box, could you tell me when the box shuts off?"

"I can't walk in the house on my cell phone, because my cell phone will loose signal. So I can't see the box. I can set the phone down, and come back to tell you."

"Ma'am, I just need you to stay on the line, and tell me when it shuts..."

"I can't take my phone in the house, so you have two choices. I can set it down, and come back when it shuts off. Or I can stand here and talk to you, and not see the box at all."

"If you could just stay on the line with me while looking at the box."

"What about 'I can't take me phone inside, because it will loose signal' is confusing you?"

"Okay then sinc you can't see the box, have you checked that your TV is on the right input?"

"The cable went off right before my eyes. I know there was a shooting at my house, and my husband and I debate the existence of a ghost, but the ghost has not shown the ability to fuck with the TV. Given the fact that my internet is out also, I am going to take a chance and say it is not my TV input. Now, do you still want me to check to see if the box shut off?"