I sent my mother an important email. An hour later I still have not heard back from her. Odd. In fact, I haven't talked to her all day. Even more strange. I call my parents' house.
"Hey Dad, can I talk to Mom?"
"Uhhh she's not here."
"Okay...where's she at?"
"Uhhh Austin, I think."
"Oh Okay, so she went to Laura's house?"
"Nooo...I think she is with your Aunt."
"Oh yeah, what are they doing?"
"Uhhh going to a show, I think."
A show? He thinks? This conversation is going nowhere fast.
"Well, Dad, does she have her cell phone on her?"
"Uhhh I don't know."
He sounds confused. Or like he is lying. I get concerned. He has either buried my mother in the backyard and is buying time or has gone bonkers. I call my sister.
"Hey Laura, you talk to Mom today?"
"Yep, she is with Aunt Susan going to see Al Gore present An Inconvenient Truth. It started at 7 or 7:30, so she should be there for awhile longer. Dad didn't want to go because, well, it's Al Gore."
Ding, ding, ding. Now I get it. He wasn't confused. He didn't bury my mother in the backyard. In fact, he knew EXACTLY where she was. He just couldn't bring himself to say the words, "Al Gore." He is probably at this moment stalking through the house counting out on his fingers the reasons he hates democrats and muttering under his breath.
Forget my "I love Kinky" and "Kinky for Gov" shirts, I am showing up there tomorrow with "Al Gore Rocks."