I picked Friday morning to "sleep in." Like, to 7:15, or something. Whatever. It is later than the 6:00 or 6:30 I normally get up. I announced on Tuesday that Friday would be my sleep in day. I told Kenny. I told Jill she was on her own until after 7:30, the designated weekend wake-up time. It was planned it advance. Kenny would tell me goodbye, but nothing more, so that I could slip back into sleep.
"Hey. I am leaving. Oh and I broke your alarm clock." He stands to leave.
I bolt up.
"You. Mean. My. LUCKY. Alarm. Clock?!" My look could kill. Accident my ass. That man better start running.
He looks at me like I am crazy. "I'll get you a new one. That thing is like thirty years old, anyway."
Precisely. And LUCKY, Asshat. And broken. Permanently stuck on 18 o'clock. Whatever, the hell time that is. I continue glaring at him. He knows it is wise to leave.
I cry for a bit after he leaves, still refusing to unplug it. Poor, sad alarm clock. When the housekeeper and her daughter arrive, I am still pouting.
"Hola, Tricia. Como estas?" I don't answer. I just continue stomping about the house. "What's wrong?"
I show her my alarm clock. "No! You have had it forever. And before, it was your parents! I remember it from their house. It is older than you. It must be at least 35 years old!"
Even. The. Housekeeper. Gets. It. Okay, okay. Probably not fair. She has known me since I was nine. But still. My lucky alarm. And you make light of it?! Just buy me a new one, like you can replace my LUCKY alarm clock?
Oh Kenny, it will cost you. Oh yes. Remember that ring I said I liked? I just added a carat. Perhaps then, I will forgive you for killing my alarm clock.
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7 comments:
My husband has an old ass "Sony Dream Machine" alarm clock that he calls his lucky alarm clock. It is huge and has wood paneling on it. It is too big for our nightstands and it is oboxious as hell. I bought a new one for our iPod and it had to go back to the store. He wasn't having it.
I think you and my husband need alarm clock counseling. Tell Kenny I'm on his side on this one.
But I still think you are hilarious! :)
Mine totally had wood paneling on it. Oh yeah.
Never knew anyone that had such personal attachment to an alarm clock. Interesting.
http://www.organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/
How does one break an alarm clock that has been around for 35 years, other than throwing it at the wall? Which happened to my FAVORITE OF ALL TIME alarm clock (I didn't know about "lucky", until now), also a Sony Dream Machine, but without any wood...as it would have been only about 15 years old now...had it lived. (The man who threw it? Gone. Like the wind.)
Yeah. Kenny is just about the farthest from the alarm clock throwing type. It was more like stumbling around in the dark, trying not to wake me, tripping over the cord. But if he had thrown it....oh it would be on!
A carat AT LEAST! I know it is important to you because even I have heard about the lucky alarm clock. :P
I never thought about "accidentally" tripping over the cord and breaking it.
Kenny is a genius.
I may have to "accidentally" do that tonight. The Dream Machine makes me angry when I look at it and it makes me want to kill someone when it wakes me up in the morning with its gross blaring noise. My husband has had it since 7th grade. 7th.
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