Cake anyone?

I woke up at 6:30, which, of course, felt like 5:30. I have been dragging ever since. All I want to do is crawl back in bed, but I have work to do. On top of that, I hadn't really looked through my email until this morning. There was a contract for a home sale waiting to be signed by Kenny and I. It needed to be done by this morning. Awesome.

And you know when you are trying to rush around to get something done what inevitably happens is the forms manager won't open, then Adobe won't be loaded on the computer that is connected to printer that, by the way, picks this morning to NOT print, so you will have to find another copy of the form and white out the old information. Except you won't have any white out, because who uses white out anymore? So after you get white out and need to scan the form back into the computer, the scanner won't work. And since you already know that kicking things like the fax machine with a work boot does not actually fix electronic equipment (Kenny, I am talking to you), you won't try kicking the scanner. Instead you will curse and scream and jiggle the cord around until it finally scans just in time for my Internet connection to go out, rendering it impossible to attach the scanned files for over an hour.

But you don't cry in frustration. Oh no. You just cut yourself a big 'ole slice of left over birthday cake, and tell yourself that it is perfectly acceptable to have cake for brunch.

Is it time to panic yet?

Things left to do for Emmi's party before the girls get home from school today.

1. Purchase ice cream cups.
2. Get balloons.
3. Buy (cheap!) markers and crayons for the kids to use for the banner.
4. Buy Emmi's birthday present.

Amount of time left to do it.
17 minutes.

Shit.

Things that might indicate you have a problem.

1. When employees of the cupcake shop an hour away greet you by name when you walk in the door.

2. When Kenny drives my car to pick up Carrabba's carside takeout, and the waitress says, "I thought you drove a truck?"

It might be time to step away from the cupcakes and spaghetti.

Big Creepy Barbie, The Second

For days I have been racking my brain trying to come up with some good gifts for Emmi for her birthday. "Just ask her," you might think. Well, I did. Her answer? "Mmmm.. a strawberry cake and a present." When I asked her what should be in the present, she replied, "A BOX!" Oh obviously. So I set about trying to come up with something a five year old who already owns just about every toy (and doesn't play with them) might want. Books? Clothes? Finally, while cleaning the game room, it hit me. Or more or less it tripped me, as I fell over the dismembered leg of Big Creepy Barbie.

We need a new Big Creepy Barbie.

Barbie's leg fell off about two days after she moved in with us. It can't be repaired, and I didn't have a gift receipt to return it. So Big Creepy Barbie became even creepier and she was dubbed Big Creepy Barbie With One Leg. Yet, still, the girls play with her every day. She is, afterall, the perfect flyer for their cheerleading squad. And? She never bitches when they forget to catch her as she performs her full down.

So when my parent's asked what they should get Emmi, I told my mom "Big Creepy Barbie." And when she sent my dad off to the store to locate such, she told him to get "Big Creepy Barbie."

It really is a shame that before asking a sales clerk to help him locate said toy, he asked my mom for clarification. I really would have enjoyed knowing that he asked where he could find a "Big Creepy Barbie."

Old Ladies

When you get old, I mean old like lived with the dinosaurs old, I think there are certain things that society owes you. For instance, we should help you open doors and perhaps even load the groceries into the car. We should even excuse the creepy things you do like watch my little kid get on the bus every morning, because that wave you give her in the morning is probably the closest thing you have to social interaction all day. But just because you and Dino used to be good buddies and you have walked to school in the snow, uphill, and your first car was a horse drawn buggy, does not give you the right to be a grumpy, bitter, old grouch.

One would think in all of your years you would have learned that being a bitch gets you no where in life, and saying "excuse me" before you plow into me while I patiently waiting for my goodies to be sacked at the store might be something you would have learned to do. But obviously not. So forgive me when I spent ten whole minutes "looking" for my keys, just so I could avoid getting the door for you.

I just need one sip.

To say I have no motivation lately would be an understatement. I have a million things to do, and I just can't muster the energy to do them. I blame the wedding. In a round about way. See, Kenny and I sat down and determined how much we each needed to set aside each month, and my contribution is roughly equal to the amount of money I spend at Starbucks each month. It was clear. I needed to break the Starbucks habit. I am being a big girl about it, and so far have only cried once or twice. But. The. Lack. Of. Caffeine. Is making me sleepy...

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

You know, I haven't been posting as much lately here. Mostly because well, when I started off I tried not to post too many mom stories or stories that weren't funny. But the truth of the matter is most of the stuff that happens to me involves my kids. And most of the time, I am not all that funny. Okay, actually, I find me highly entertaining. But most normal people? Not so much. Anyway, I felt pressured to come up with something to say. I would write things and edit and re-edit, trying to get the tone right, trying to make it funny. In the end I would delete it. Soon enough, even I was bored with my blog.

So? I am switching gears here, I think. I am not going to care if it is funny. I might post too much about my kids. I might post about absolutely nothing, because that is pretty much what I do all day! I will definitely be re-designing the layout of my blog over the next few days. Hopefully it won't bore you all more than it does now.