Bride(smaid)zilla.

My friend, let's call her Soon-to-be-Bride (or Bride for short), called me about six months ago to tell me that she was engaged. She asked me to be a bridesmaid. She also assigned me the duty of making sure her dad didn't cry too much. He does laugh at my jokes a lot. This should be easy. Before we hung up, she again reminded me that I was to keep her dad laughing.

"Oh, Bride, that will be no problem. I have been saving up lots of stories for him. I have some real good ones that I couldn't tell him before. But now that you will be married, off living on your own, I don't think he can ground you. Hey, remember that time they went out of town, and we...."

I was immediately stripped of my DaddyWatch Duties. She threatened to make me wear the ugliest bridesmaid dress ever, if I told him any of my stories. She is no fun.

A few months pass, and while at dinner one night I get a voicemail. I listen to it a few times, before I jump up screaming, "BRIDE IS PREGNANT!" Then, in my head I started to count out the days. Assuming she is about a month pregnant, that would put us smack dab in the middle of rehersal dinner when that baby was due to pop out! Bride would have to change the date.

Last night, she texted me the new day and location. Two months away. Thinking I had eight months, I had not even started thinking about getting my bridesmaid dress.

I texted her back. "What do I need to do about ordering my bridesmaid dress?"

She responds. "I'll let you know. Since it is in spring now, instead of fall, I have to pick new colors."

Oh. Right. "That makes sense. Wrong seasonal colors. Bad. Pregnant bride. That is okay!"

She threatens to make me wear pastels. Peach. With puffy sleeves. And a big bow on the front.

Disclaimer: I, myself, was four months pregnant when I got married. I have every right to tease her for being pregnant during her wedding. It is not mean. Just funny.