We perform our own stunts.

It all started with Emmi touching Jill's book. Or looking at it funny. Or hell, I don't know, maybe she breathed on it. Whatever. Jill screamed. She tore the book from Emmi's hands then ripped it to shreds. Then? She pushed Emmi to the ground and kicked her.

Kenny and I decide to act out the scene with appropriate ways to handle the situation. Kenny, played Emmi, standing in the corner with a book, screaming "IT MINE. IT EMMI'S!" Jill was Kenny waiting to intervene when politely asked. I was Jill.

Scenario One:

I walk into the room. I see Emmi [Kenny] has the book. I immediately go to Kenny [Jill] and in a very calm voice explain that it is my book and I would like it back.

We discussed how this scenario worked better. Why everyone was happier with the outcome. Jill would still have the book. It wasn't ripped. Emmi would not have been pushed or kicked. We had Jill practice.

Then? For fun. Scenario Two:

Emmi (still played by Kenny) stood in the corner screaming about the book. I, as Jill, walk in, see her and start screaming. I jumped up and down. I spun in goofy circles. I then jerked the book from Emmi [Kenny's] hands. Kenny immediately throws himself to the ground. In the process, he somehow kicks my shin.

There is a cracking sound. There is no pain. But I clearly remember thinking, "That was not good." Jill is laughing hysterically. Kenny is laughing pretty hard too. No one realizes I am injured.

Until I collapes to the ground. The huge lump on my shin kind of indicated there was a problem, as well.

"Oh shit!" Kenny yelled (and we wonder where the kiddies learn these words!) when he saw the odd protrusion on my shin.

Between sobbing, I start laughing. "You broke my leg!" I laugh some more, with tears streaming down my face. "Seriously, you broke my leg throwing yourself on the ground!"

He still feels horrible about it all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need Kenny to bring me another drink. And a snack. Oh and while he is up, I will need magazines, the tv remote, the book I am reading, and an extra pillow. Exactly how long do you think I can milk this?