It's not even about her.

So we all know the pants are horribly ugly. I am not even going to get into it. What I have to tell you friends is about the guy. See him back there. Yeah, I know him. If he isn't lying about that actually being him, but I kind of believe it. Anyway, we went to school together since like elementary school. My friend had a huge crush on him, so we did things like ride our bikes past his house forty times. And? Pathetic as it is, I feel like I have some kind of claim to faim cause I know the guy who ended up in the background of the picture that has been in every tabloid magazine know to man.



And, really, Jessica, the pants are doing nothing for you.