Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tres de Mayo

So we all know I have been blowing it big time lately, what with being all nice and donating hearing aids and such. But this weekend? Trish was back. In rare form.

Mexican culture is more prevalent in Houston that American culture. Truly. So it makes total sense that we would celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Except of course, the US doesn't actually recognize it as a holiday, so we had to celebrate on Saturday. I guess that would make it Tres de Mayo. But I wore a sombrero and we drank margaritas and ate fajitas. Kenny and I even brought a pinata. Filled with Mexican candy that we bought at Food Town (Hey, Tiffany, I actually went in Food Town!).

Honestly, I wasn't in much of a party mood, but Kenny really wanted to go. I was determined to make the best of it for his sake. Besides, it had been awhile since I had seen a lot of those friends. I don't do much with that group because their idea of fun is still going to bars, getting wasted, and wandering back home to their parents home, where they still live, somewhere around 4am. God love them. That's just not me. And? There was a new girlfriend in the group. I was kind of anxious to check her out. A few others had met her already. They all had stories to tell. Like how in less than twenty minutes she told the same story about getting drunk and wrecking her car no less than four times. And how she thought this was hilarious, when no one else did. But I wasn't going to judge her based on their opinions. No, no. I was judging her based on the fact that I am really good friends with his ex, and I was going to hate her no matter what. Even if she wasn't annoying. Which she was.

For some reason New GF was hellbent on not being the newby, which meant someone else had to be. She picked me. Being ever so nice, she decided to take me under her wing and introduce me to everyone at the party. I let this go one for quite some time, hushing people if they tried to correct her. She was so sweet to introduce me to the girl I hung out with in jr. high, the guy I used to live down the street from in elementary school and the ex-girlfriend of Kenny's old roommate that I spent countless hours with when I first moved back to Houston. We settled into chairs at the table, and some of the girls started talking about the drunk of the group. I chimed in with the hilarious story of how he got banned from our house by first breaking Kenny's dishwasher in his old house, then licking me. New GF, looked slightly confused. She couldn't figure out how I knew him. But she she also seemed a little defensive. She immediately bombarded me with all of the good qualities of drunk-boy. I put my hand up to stop her. "I know. I don't hate him. He just can't come over anymore." She told me if I knew him better, I would understand. I laughed. I responded with, "Honey, I have known him since high school." She let this comment settle for a minute. Then? Suddenly she realized. If I knew him since high school, then I had to know everyone since then too. Her eyes narrowed. I smiled sweetly, then leaned toward one of the girls across the table and inquired about her family, whom I hadn't seen in a few years.

Later, we moved on to the subject of a friend's upcoming wedding. Over a year away. One off-hand comment about still not knowing what color she wanted to choose, and suddenly New GF has taken over the conversation. Apparently, being in SIX weddings last June made her the expert in weddings. She launched into a lengthy tirade of the proper styles of bridesmaid dresses and gifts and such that not even my "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" comment could halt. After she moved onto having contracts drawn up for the bridesmaids so that they would not change their hairstyle between now and the wedding, Kenny leaned forward. "Hey, New GF! I thought you were a nurse!" She looked at him, "I am." Kenny smirked. "Oh, I thought for sure you must be a wedding coordinator with all the expert knowledge you have." Her mouth clamped shut. The other girls stifled giggles. I laughed out loud. My Kenny is funny. He makes me so proud.

They day wore on, and I was about ready to go. Kenny and I made the rounds, saying goodbye to everyone. New GF was sitting at a table with several people. I said a collective goodbye to them. New GF made some remark about us leaving early. Apparently, my irritation with her was no longer veiled, and it showed in the look I gave her. "I'm sure that look doesn't really mean she thinks she is better than you!" I laughed. I leaned over and patted New GF on the back, "Oh Sweetie, yes it does." Then I turned and walked off. I am quite sure that New GF is still trying to decide if I was serious or not.

For the record. I was.

10 comments:

Tiffany said...

If only I could have been there! Sigh.. I have the best nasty look reserved for peeps like her. Did she have a preppy little name to match her outgoing personality? :)

I am Trish Marie said...

I will tell you, but I won't put in on here. I will email you...there are some other good details that I couldn't include that you would find funny.

Hehehe...I just sent you my work! Now it is your work. Take that! Today should be fun for both us. We are going to be swamped....

Allie Bear said...

Hilarious, I hate stupid bitches that think they know things. Way to put her in her place and that goes for Kenny too.

Not a Granny said...

Think of it this way, she was being a good hostess.

Oh wait, she wasn't the hostess???

Erin and Liann said...

LMFAO... I think we were seperated at birth or something... I can be very nice... I usually am.... But stupid people make me mad... And you make Momma proud!!

Lee

amy <> said...

Ha! You're such a good writer... I love reading your adventures. :) I think you, Leah, and I going to the NKOTB reunion would be AMAZING! ha!

My gut feeling... either 2 girls or 1 girl 1 boy. Girl names have come easy and one boy name... so we will see... it's hard to wait!

Allie Bear said...

My husband left more anonymous comment love for you and kenny over at my blog. He thinks you guys rock, I told him that when I met you but he thought I was just being a drunk (I like everyone when I'm drunk).

David said...

This made me smile. Kenny's comment was perfect. Trish is "back"! Yea!

Sheri said...

I am still laughing over this. Daniel got a good kick out of it when I told him, too.

I am Trish Marie said...

Oh Sheri, I so need to give you the extra details too. And you will know most of the people I am talking about, which will make it much funnier to you!