We couldn't do one of the tests Emmi needed for her kidney without first putting her on medication. One with instructions that read "apply vaginally." I was swamped with work, and Kenny offered to help me out around the house. I asked him how he would feel about dropping off the prescription at the pharmacy for me. He replied, "No problem," before he bothered to look at what he was dropping off. As he read it, I grinned. "Just tell them your vagina hurts." He did not look amused. At least I planned to pick it up.
I needed a few other things when I went to pick it up. I am obsessed with hair. Or lack of. I shave every night. I wax my bikini line and armpits. I needed more wax. And the best kind? The kind made for Brazilian waxing. The ones that say things like "Naughty Nads" or "Private Parts, Sexy, Smooth." I grabbed a few and headed towards the pharmacy desk. Then it occurred to me. I was buying Brazilian wax and picking up vaginal estrogen cream. I had a theme going. For the hell of it I grabbed a pack of tampons, even though I didn't need them. That ought to make the pharmacist wonder.
It was the young pharmacy tech that came to wait on me. The one that always seems so unsure of himself. He blushed when he saw the wax. He practically fainted when he saw the tampons. As he grabbed the medication, an evil thought popped into my head.
"Umm. Excuse me. Yeah. I just don't think I understand how I am supposed to use that medicine. Can you explain to me how to apply it?"
He smiles politely. He reads the label. His smiles fades, and his cheeks turn a bright shade of red. I let him stammer for a moment, before I start laughing. I was really hoping I could make him say "vagina."