Blind-sided.

Thursday is gymnastics day. Jill argues every Thursday about going. She loves it once she gets there, but she argues EVERY single time non-the-less. I threaten to lock her into her room until she turns thirty if she doesn't go. We have a staring contest until I win, then she stomps off to gymnastics.

Today she walked in the door, asking to skip gymnastics before she even put her backpack down.

"Fine by me."

She looked at me shocked. Then, deciding to press her good luck, she asked for a friend to come over.

"Do your homework first."

She looked at me confused. "Mom, you know it is Thursday, right."

I nodded.

"Are you sick?"

Nope. Just sad. And mad. Mad that I have to make Emmi go through more tests. Emmi finished up the last of her antibiotics today. When I called the specialist last week, they seemed unconcerned with her kidney infection. It had been almost a week. I thought we were in the clear. Then the call came. I recognized the number, I assumed they were calling to check up on Emmi.

They weren't. Because of Emmi's test results we need to do a renal ultrasound right away. Not a problem. It is an easy test. We also now have to do the VCUG, the test I have been putting off. Every talks about how horrible it is. How much their children scream during it. How they are hurting after it. They can't be sedated, because it alters the test results. It is going to be horrible. And that may not be the worst of it. It may all lead up to her having surgery. Soon.

And suddenly I am very tired. I am tired of doing this all the time. I am tired of being blind-sided. It isn't fair. I want someone else's life. Well, at least for a day.