"Am I going to have to pop out an other deaf baby just to see you again?"
A conversation with Kenny about the dog:
"Macy you are a puss!"
"KENNY, what the fuck? Don't say puss in front of the kids."
To Jill when she was misbehaving:
"If you don't stop, I am going to spank your butt."
"No you won't."
"Okay, fine. If you don't stop, I am going to lick your face."
To the kids when Kenny let them lick the bowl I made brownies (that I wasn't sharing) in:
"What is this?"
"Chocolate sauce. Just lick it and be happy."
"But what did you make?"
"Chocolate sauce for you to lick."
"It looks like brownies, Mom."
"To me it looks like runny poo. Or mud."
Talking to Kenny about Jill's homework:
"Is she actually reading the exact words on the page, Kenny."
"No. She is close. She understands the story."
"That is not the point. She is reading for fluency."
"Who cares, Tricia? She is a good reader."
"She has to."
"Why? I never do."
"Riiiight. Which one of us graduated with honors, Kenny?"
"Good point, Tricia. But, um, which one of us makes twice as much money as the other?"
A conversation with a crying, screaming child of mine:
"You never let me do anything I want to do!"
"Like what?"
"Play webkinz, write on the dry-erase board, live in the attic."
"I never said you couldn't live in the attic."
6 comments:
Seriously? That notebook in your car works wonders, lady. I need to get me one of those!
I snorted when I was reading this, I should post some of the shit I say because seriously you and I are like two peas in a pod.
And I agree with J, maybe I will be using a notebook now too.
PS I love the dogs in the pic now, super cuteness!
Oh My
"I never said you couldn't live in the attic"
LMAO, just serisously, I'm laughing...
Lee
I wish I could be a fly on the wall in your house ... hilarious!
My hubby left a comment for you on my blog because he loved this post so much and he leaves anonymous comments so he couldn't comment here. The comment is on my crap on my dresser post (I think) if you want to go see it.
LOL, this is so fucking hilarious. My punk comes up with some funny shit too as do I. I once told her if she didn't stay in bed Satan was going to come up out of the floor and bring her back to hell with him. I realize I'm a terrible parent...you don't have to say it!
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