Dear Man in Line Behind (Now IN FRONT) of Us,
Good Morning! I hope your day started off well. Yes, thanks for asking. Ours is great so far. Well, until you practically clobbered my six-year-old in the parking lot of the donut store.
See, the thing is, I hardly ever let my kids eat donuts. So my kid was super excited to get donuts. Really. And we pulled up, like, a full minute before you. In fact, we were already out of the car before you pulled in the parking lot. And she wasn't walking slow. THERE WERE DONUTS IN THERE! She was in a hurry to get those pink ones, with the sprinkles. She loves those. So, we were about to the door when you got out of your car, and, man, were you in a hurry?! You must love those pink ones with the sprinkles, too. Anyway, my daughter was just about in the door (the one I am holding open), when out of nowhere you cut right in front of her. Good thing she is agile! She was able to jump out of your way just in time. Even the ladies inside the store were shocked. So shocked they offered to take our order before yours.
You immediately protested. Your loud screaming voice at 8 in the morning was quite persuasive. And yes, you made a great point when you mentioned that you made it in the door before us. However, I think we should deduct two seconds for trampling a six-year-old and four seconds for letting a woman hold a door open for you. By those calculations, we win. However, my child, quickly determining in her head that you can't possible buy all 23 pink, sprinkled donuts, decides you should go first. Just to shut you up. Although, she put it much nicer than that. That is what I would have said. So you ordered your donuts, which thankfully, did not include all 23 pink ones, and you are on the way out, and you give us the smug grin. Apparently you feel really good about yourself and the cutting in front of a six-year-old.
But do tell. How did it feel when she slowly grinned, waved, and said, "I really hope that cutting in line makes those donuts taste better."
The Lady in Line Behind You With the Six-Year-Old Who Is Smarter Than You