Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Kenny and I aren't married. Most people don't realize this. because we are really good at pretending. It is the house in the suburbs, and the two kids that look just like him. Tricks. And for awhile, I didn't really want to talk about the whole marriage thing. I mean, I figured one day we would get married and all. It was just awhile away. But now. It is getting closer. And I am really bad at waiting.

So I do things like call Kenny and say, "KENNY! You have to help me! I am frantic. I can't find it!"

And he will say, "You can't find what?"

And I will say, "My engagement ring, Silly."

And he will not even respond. Not even one little laugh. So then sometime after he comes home, I will sneak outside a tape a picture of, like, a $189,000.00 ring to his steering wheel with the words "FOUND IT" written across the page in black marker. And part of me will be sad, because in the morning I won't be there to see his face when he finds it.

And even though he pretends I am not funny, I know the picture will end up in the file marked "ROCKS" which I hope is more in reference to the diamonds and not the large weight that will be dragging him down once he succumbs to marriage. And sometimes, he even reads the articles I leave out about selecting the perfect diamond. And yes, he even sat through hours of looking at dresses on the Internet so that I could get a feel for his tastes, for, you know, the time that I actually might need to go dress shopping. So while he pretends he has no interest in my ring talk, it is actually what I have asked of him. I want a complete a total surprise engagement. I don't want to know what is going on until halfway through. I want that moment. And even knowing that is what I want, it is still driving me crazy not having some sort of time frame. Six days. Six months. Six years. Who knows?

Except maybe his closest friends. Which is why today when I ran into his friend's wife, and she congratulated me on my engagement, I began to get the suspicion that something was up.


Tiffany said...

Who let the cat out of the bag?!

Not a Granny said...

Are you practicing your "surprised" scream, laugh, then cry?

I am Trish Marie said...

Knowing me, I will say something like, "Uh uh. No way. Shut up. Are you for real?"

Erin and Liann said...

LOL.... at least you won't laugh at him like I did.... but I said no.... I am definately going to take a page out of your book of hints though for the day I want to get married in the distant future...


P.S. Start practicing your surprise face in the mirror now!!

David said...

You crack me up all the time. I hope you get a rock the size of my smiles when I read your blog every day with out fail.
thanks for tip on patch. I want an invite to the wedding damn you! I just want to HEar your voice.

Sheri said...

OMG!!! I am waiting to hear news.

Allie Bear said...

I can't wait for that post, you know you're going to have to tell us everything.

Anonymous said...

I think you should have a virtual wedding, and air it live on the blog. Yes?