A wedding.

The wedding was this weekend. The one where I got to wear my wonderful David's Bridal dress. Even though the alterations I spent a fortune on were not done well, and my boobs threatened to pop out any minute. Guess it is a good thing I don't really have any boobs. It was hard for them to do any popping. All in all, it was fun. I think I spent more time talking to Ashley, my old neighbor (who is much, MUCH better than my new neighbors) who was the photographer, than I did talking to the bride. And? There was a lot of the typical wedding hoopla.

Preggers Bride and I at Rehearsal

I made Kenny leave an hour before the rehearsal because Preggers Bride had been texting me since 7am threatening to kill me if I was late. It started at 4. We got there at 3:40. We beat her by half an hour. The groom's family showed up fifteen minutes before the thing ended. He spent most of the time on his cell phone trying to hunt down groomsmen and his family, with Preggers Bride giving him death looks the whole time. Which, of course, made me giggle. When his sister arrived, much to her dismay, she discovered she was last in line of the bridesmaids. This. Pissed. Her. Off. I mean, she is family. She should be second in line. Right after the maid of honor. Or at least, that is what she announced fifty times. Which, of course, made me give her death looks. Seriously. It is not that big of deal. Who cares where you stand. And quit trying to take my well earned second in line position, hooker. But I mean, it doesn't matter where you stand. Just cause I got second in line. Before all the rest of you. Doesn't mean anything. Me? I didn't complain one time. I stood on my spot, smiled pretty, walked when they told me to, corrected the idiot of a wedding coordinator when she forgot key points, and soon we were on our happy little way to dinner.

As far as brides go, Preggers Bride, was relatively calm. She laughed and joked. When she asked which way to wear her veil and I made a quip about it looking more virginal around her shoulders, she fired back with, "Immaculate conception, Bitch." Then proceeded to pull it all the way around her shoulders and give me the most innocent and demure look I have ever seen. I almost believed her. The lack of formality of this wedding (remember, Kenny and I have been part of the country club wedding scene for awhile now. IE Big, formal, to the letter, by the books, weddings.) drove me slightly crazy at first. Where was the bridal luncheon? The massive shopping trips? The forty-five events I must attend prior to the actual wedding? Ahhhh, but in the end, it was so nice to actually be able to enjoy the wedding that I was part of. They didn't care if I wasn't sitting at the head table precisely when she started her first dance. No one yelled when the maid-of-honor and I were so busy cracking jokes that we missed them shoving cake in each other's faces. I actually talked to Kenny. I sat down. I ate the food that was served, instead of running around like crazy. I think I could get used to this laid-back kind of shin0dig. It was nice. It was pretty. It wasn't tacky in any way, but it just had an air of informality that made it easy to enjoy the party. Which to me is what a wedding should be.

Kenny and I have talked a lot about what our wedding will be like. I won't do things like Preggers Bride did, as we have different taste. But I want the same feeling. I want my bridal party to walk out the door and say, "Well, that was fun." And actually mean it.