Wednesday, August 27, 2008

How would you handle.....

this situation.

On our street we have four second graders. Three girls. One boy. The boy pretty much sticks to himself, cause well, he likes to play boy games and not dress-up or house or dolls. The girls have a power struggle going on. Before we moved in, it was Girl A and Girl B. They played constantly. They did everything together. Then we came along. At first, Jill aligned herself with Girl A, but as time went along, Girl A started showing a different side. She can be quite mean. I have overheard things like, "You are stupid." And, "I am prettier than you." And so on and so forth. Also, Jill and Girl A are both leaders. The Boss. Must be in control. They eventually stopped playing together. Jill played more and more with Girl B. Girl B has been nothing but nice, and Jill and Girl B have become very close friends. From time to time Girl A and Girl B play together. Over the summer, we rarely saw Girl A, and it was not that apparent to Girl A how close Girl B and Jill had become. Then school started.

I watched Jill and Girl B link arms as they climbed onto the bus. Girl A, stood back watching. She was not happy. She felt left out. And it was Jill's fault. Apparently, there has been quite a bit of taunting and teasing on the bus by Girl A. She told the bus that Jill's dad did want her so she had to live with Kenny. She said that it wasn't Jill's choice not to play with her, it was because her mom said she was not allowed at our house. Not true, her mom actually asked me to watch her the other day. Today she told Jill that nobody liked Jill. Jill is not all that phased by it. She basically just asked if I would talk to the bus driver and have her seat switched. She doesn't want a big deal made. She simply does not want to be around the girl. I have taught her that people tend to attack you because of jealousy or hurt feelings. So Jill actually feels sorry for her. She understands that Girl A feels left out because Jill and Girl B are good friends now. However, I am not sure that simply asking the bus driver to allow Jill to sit in another seat is the right idea.

What I wonder is should I say something to the mom? I never know what to do in these situations. If they were four, I would step in. But these are second graders. Is it time to let them resolve it on their own?


Sheri said...

Isn't crazy how young all the drama starts. I think Madison was around the same age, too. Three is a bad, baaaad number with girls.

Girl A is a little bitch. :P I would be upset over the whole dad thing. I think I would mention that to them mom. Maybe you could go about it by talking the situation to both girls' moms (or at least girl a's) and see if you can come up with a good plan on how to help them cope without meddling too much.

You may also want to pick up the Queen Bees and Wannabes book. Very insightful.

Leah J. said...

No advice here ... I'm glad I have a boy! Watch me have a girl next ... yikes! :) I am so proud of how mature Jill's outlook on the situation is! You did a great job with teaching her how to handle these situations! Sometimes I can't believe we are moms! It seems like yesterday you were helping me find my way back home after the bus dropped me off at the wrong stop! Ha!

I am Trish Marie said...

Kenny and I were just talking about taking it for granted that we know all the streets around here...and I said "Yeah, I mean, if I didn't know that such and such street crossed so and so street then Leah and Amy would still be wandering about Our Old Neighborhood lost." He didn't get it. In fact, I think he thought I was crazy.

And...I decided to talk to the mom about what is going on. If that doesn't resolve it, I am going to the school (since Jill has now informed me of some playground incidents). Jill woke up in the middle of the night bothered by it all.

Betsey Booms said...

I think I would casually approach it with her mother.

Mom's can get protective but I think it's the right approach. ;)

Girls are little bitches. My husband is always shocked at how my daughter and her friends interact.

zakary said...

I would definitely tell the mother. That Girl A is being a bully. That is so rude saying that about Jill's dad and Kenny.

God, I wouldn't want to be a kid again for anything.

Ramosism said...

I think I want the house how much are you asking? I can deal with the righteous .... I have cookies.